September 2025 Newsletter

This month we had the privilege of having Herman Barretto, a social worker and counselor, who spoke on “How to manage change and the challenges of illness”. He used the theme: PRESENT, to facilitate the presentation.

P: Present in the moment. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to be, all we have is this moment and that is why we call it a gift – the Present Moment! How are we present: use acronym ADLS- activities of daily living.

A: Attention, present in the moment to each other.

D: Doing, responding to immediate requests and concerns.

L: Loving each other rather than what was or could have been.

S: Sharing, in the moment of demands brought on by daily life or illness challenges.

R: Resilient. Being resourceful, receptive, rugged. One goal in mind: to exist.

E: Eternity. We live eternity in the moment separated by a thin veil of time. It is imperative to cultivate a spiritual life (not necessarily religious) in the here and now. Hopefully, to live a heavenly life for those who believe in an afterlife.

S: Spirituality v. Religion: We become spiritual by developing a center (moral code) and following the golden rule. In doing so, we become comfortable with endings.

E: Endings: A fact of life. Every moment has a beginning, middle, and ending. Being comfortable with endings is a challenge. We must learn to let go; we are not God. We must respect our limitations and boundaries. Endings are a fact of life and how we grieve these endings will determine our presence in any given moment.

N: Learn to say no. It is hardest to say no to ourselves. We appreciate pleasing others and in itself is not a bad thing. However, when it does damage to one’s spirit or being, then you fail yourself and others.

T: Task: At the end of life we often hear, “when will God take me?”. Conclusion: God is not a giver and taker at the same time. Instead, God gives one life and receives one’s life at the end. The task is to understand that each person decides when it is time to be received by God.

Therefore, being Present as a caregiver is about Timing, Tenacity, and Thankfulness. Being a caregiver is not an easy calling. It is challenging, however we choose to stay in the role with compassion and comfort and over time becomes a sort of consolation to our loved one and ourselves.